My Dream Job Never Happened Because I Never Wanted It

From a very young age I decided I wanted to be just like my mother when I grew up. She was a stay at home mom and wife who nurtured us all perfectly if I do say so myself. She did work for a few years before my birth and I think she tried it after I was born and weaned but since my father was making good money, they decided it was ok for her to stay home should she choose to. She chose to. In most cases as an African woman, staying at home is the norm. The man works and the woman also works as manager of the household. Taking care of the kids, the home, the man, herself and the rest of the extended family that from time to time needs to be cared for. I won't include the pets because with all the dogs we had, my father was the sole caretaker of those beasts, till my brother grew older of course.

Though mom stayed at home, I admire her so much for still having that go-getter mindset. As a christian, she channeled her inner proverbs woman combined with her entrepreneurial mindset and earned income from home. I too wanted this. I watched her use her hands by knitting. Many parents would place orders for her to knit jerseys/sweaters for school. We wore school uniforms and sometimes our winters were so cold that only Mrs Muskwe's chunky knit sweaters were the way to go. I knew I wanted to be a mother but only if I was a present mother. I did not want to miss any milestones or have my children spend most of their waking moments in the care of people other than myself. Based on the economy as I went through college, I thought this impossible.


I decided I was to become an auditor after graduating with my accounting degree and this meant long hours before I could actually settle into a consultant of some sort who would be in control of her schedule. I would have to put in so much time building my portfolio so kids were not in my plan because I would have to accept not spending the quality time I personally believed my children would need. To be honest, I picked this field because I knew I could pass my classes and graduate and hopefully land that job all my instructors and recruiting personnel promised my college mates and I. " With a four year degree you will have a starting salary in the range of $43,000 to $66, 000".

Well, I ate it all up, I knew I was not going into medicine or law; nope. I wanted to graduate and get on with life without the extra 6 plus years of extra education. So accounting was my best bet at making some money to be able to live comfortably. I made this my dream job. I forced myself to love what I was studying and want the jobs that would lie in this field. I went to job fairs, gained mentors and kept pushing at this vision of me being an auditor. 

I remember in highschool when a group of Chartered Accountants from Ernst & Young came to talk to us about their company and what they did. I remember not listening to a word they were saying and being focussed on how she looked. I kept eyeing her up and down this perfectly put together boss lady in front of me passionately talking about some accounting stuff. I was fifteen at that time. Her heels were so high; stilettos, black textured leather 6-inch stilettos. She was wearing an olive green skirt that gently touched her knees and a black satin blouse. She had her sleeves rolled up to her elbows and her top button, unbuttoned. I remember thinking I want to look just like her when I start working. Not once did I say I want to have the job she has in order to be able to look like her. No. I wanted the look. She looked confident, rich, strong and empowered.

Life happened. I did not get my auditing job, I was an Accounts Payable clerk which was alright as I was still working in my field of study and making enough money to keep up with my bills. I had no car or extra expenses at that time really so in addition to rent and utilities, I had food, clothes, my phone and a bit of money to send home here and there. I have worked in my field; accounting, and though I loved the paycheck, I honestly did not enjoy my job. It was disconnected. I do not see myself as a people's person and maybe that's why I believed being an accountant would be the best fit for me, but I honestly missed the human interaction. It felt so robotic. I know there are various and different jobs in the finance and accounting field but the only thing that made me get out of bed was the fact that this job was paying my bills. And that was fine in the beginning but after a while, the desire to have and do something more meaningful consumed me. I would dress up in the first 2 months of my career. I would wear my heels and skirts and look just as I envisioned myself. I was always overdressed. I got tired of it though; not the dressing up, it's the dressing up for no occasion I had a problem with. I was working in a department that wore khaki pants and any shirt and flat shoes daily. I was sitting at my desk only to get up to go to the bathroom or eat lunch. I found my job boring. I wanted to be out there auditing and looking great doing it. 

As it were I married my husband, moved to another state and started my process to switching my visa into a green card. We were blessed with our first son in 2014 and at that time I was not working. I got my immigration status changed in 2015 and the truth hit me. Having a degree does not guarantee you employment. I applied to many companies, for many positions. I started of sticking with my field and then branched out to other business related available positions and still nothing came through for me. I started working at our church daycare. This job was not what I desired, however it was a job. I worked there for up to a year until I landed my first at home customer service job. Not once did I imagine myself being a customer service agent. Not once did I see myself enjoying customer service work.

During my unemployed phase I did do few things that allowed me to get some extra cash. It was not enough to pay bills of course, but it was something. I filled out surveys, I blogged and created video content for my YouTube channel; I still do. This does bring extra cash and as for surveys I got paid in gift cards. I kept busy. It was important that I kept my mind active because focussing on my misfortunes tends to depress me. In my next post I will detail the difference between a contractor versus employee based at home job and in future posts I will share my experience with the different jobs I've had and highlight where you can find employment at home too.

I just wanted to give a bit of a picture as to what brought me to this career path that I never knew existed or never thought possible for myself.
P.S.
If you are interested in working from home. The company I work for has open positions. Just go to https://jobs.workingsolutions.com/ . When applying, be sure to select “Referral – Working Solutions Agent” in the How Did You Hear About Us field. The next field will be where you place my Agent ID which is 047393473.



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